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Dance lifts have become increasingly athletic. The lifting partner does not move across the ice, but is allowed to rotate. Straight line lift - The lifting partner moves in a straight line across the ice. Remote Control Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, and the Spectacles of Female Power and Pain. Figure skating is a sport and activity in which individuals, duos, or groups perform on figure skates on ice. It was the first winter sport included in the Olympics. More than 1.7 million people have signed a Change.org petition demanding that an investigation into the judging decisions in Thursday night's women's figure skating. Figure skating lifts are a required element in pair skating and ice dancing. Pairs lifts differ from dance lifts most notably in that dancers are not allowed to lift. THE RINKS, JUNIOR DUCKS & LADY DUCKS NAMED USA HOCKEY MODEL CLUB ASSOCIATIONS USA Hockey has designated The Rinks, Junior Ducks and Lady Ducks as Model Club Associations. Continued discussion of Figure Skating in 2016. This lift may be performed on one foot or two. Curve lift - The lifting partner moves along a curve across the ice. This lift may be performed on one foot or two. Rotational lift - The lifting partner rotates in one direction while traveling across the ice. Long lifts. Each part of the lift must be fully established. Positions. Each position is permitted only once a program. For the lifting partner. However, the rules allow for the woman to lift the man in competition. Notable couples who have performed . For the free dance, four lifts were required and they were separated into short and long. Photo gallery of dance lifts. Lifted: Horizontal, one point of support. Lifting partner in an Ina Bauer position. Most pair lifts are rotational, with the man turning on the ice before setting the lady down; a carry lift, by contrast, is a lift without rotation. A lift's score may be affected by. Type of entry . May raise difficulty by one- hand dismount, a flip out, or other. Other features . The ISU defines five different groups of pair lifts, with an ascending difficulty level, although levels 3 and 4 are the same level of difficulty. Lifts that go on longer may receive deductions. The group is determined by the hold held at the moment the woman passes the man's shoulder in the lift. The lady lifts up from a forward outside edge (hence the axel name), and is set down again on the back outside edge. It is also sometimes known as a tabletop lift. In reverse platter lifts, the woman is skating backwards. In forward, she is skating forwards. Group 3: Hand- to- hip lifts. The man has one hand on his partner's hip and the other clasping her hand. He raises her until she is horizontal with her free hand on his shoulder. The air position for this lift is a leg variation with her legs spread in a scissor position as if they were the points on a star, where is where the lift gets its name. The woman picks her toe- pick as if doing a toe loop jump, hence the name. The skaters turn together in the air. They clasp hands and the man pushes forward and up, . The man raises the woman above his head and she remains facing the same direction in the air while in a sitting position with her hands behind her. The take off for this is the back outside edge. She is lifted into the air from a backward toe takeoff. She is in a split position and they are facing the same direction. In reverse, the woman begins the lift skating backward. In forward, she is skating forward. He may skate on one foot, or perform crossovers or a spread eagle to earn a higher level of difficulty. For the lifted partner. The hold is the most dangerous part of the spin because the man is supporting the lady only by her legs. This move is also performed in more dramatic and dangerous fashion with a one- handed hold. A headbanger or bounce spin is performed by the man swinging the lady around with both of her feet off the ice, supported only by the man's grip on her ankle. The lady is elevated and lowered during the spin in a periodic fashion, sometimes with her head coming dangerously close to skimming the ice. Twist lifts. Lifts that last longer may be penalized. Lifts without rotations are called carry lifts and are allowed once in the long program. Requirements may vary from season to season. The short program required a hand- to- hand lift take- off from group 4, and a twist lift. Free Genogram, Pedigree Chart Online. PROGENY FREE ONLINE PEDIGREE TOOL: TERMS AND CONDITIONSThank you for your interest in Progeny. IMPORTANT!!! PLEASE READ THESE TERMS AND CONDITIONS CAREFULLY BEFORE ACCESSING THE APPLICATION. THESE TERMS AND CONDITIONS HAVE BEEN UPDATED. 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COPY AND OTHER RESTRICTIONS. CHANGES TO THESE TERMS. LIMITED WARRANTY AND LIMITATION OF LIABILITY. GOVERNING LAW AND VENUE. EXPORT LAW ASSURANCES. Department of Commerce Denied Person. 1 on this chart is the same as no. 1) 2 3 Born/Chr: Place: Married: chart no. Place: Died: Place: Born/Chr: Place: Died: Place. Fill in your family tree and share it right online or save to your computer with this free, four-generation, interactive pedigree chart. It can also be printed and filled in by hand. Introduction to genetic pedigree charts A pedigree chart is a graphical visualization of a number of people and their genetic relationships. As opposed to social pedigrees, which may include marriages, divorces, children from unmarried relationships, adopted. Free Family Tree Templates in PDF format. Subscribe to the Free Printable newsletter. A simple description of how to create a pedigree chart in genetics.Thread: Kasi Yathra- Travelogue and some Useful information. KASHI TRIP (PART IV of Tavelogue)Hope you might have gone through my previous write- up on kashi rituals. Now I will attempt on my experiences relating to Kashi Ghatts and temples. GHATTSThere are 6. Ghatts. I will describe a few Ghatts. Asi Ghat is where the Asi river merges with the Ganga, this is the southern extreme of the city. Just next to this is the Tulsi Ghat where Tulsidas breathed his last. Then comes the Hanuman Ghat, which is where we stayed. Next to this is the Karnataka state Ghat, where there is a palace built by the Maharaja of Mysore. These two Ghats are full of mutts and ashrams belonging to south India, and hence is full of south Indians at any time of the year. Next comes the Harishchandra Ghat, which is the place associated with the legend of the truthful king, Harishchandra, and the trials and tribulations he underwent. This is one of the burning Ghats of the city, where bodies of people of all castes and communities are consigned to flames. THE LION OF THE PRIDE. Mother Durga - Rider On the Lion. HOW DOES THE LOVE OF GOD TURN TO TERRORISM? The parkama around Harmindar Sahib. Seema Azmi (also known as 'Seema') is an Indian film and theater actress. She was born in Guwahati, Assam, India, with Azamgarh origin and brought-up in Delhi where she completed her schooling and her graduation from Delhi. Chitrakoot (IAST: Chitrakoot, Sanskrit: . It is a town of religious, cultural, historical. Join Date Jul 2009 Location Bangalore Posts 67 Points 7,313 Level 9 Downloads 0 Uploads 0. Why MP3WINGER.COM is Best? First of all Thanks for Visit MP3WINGER.COM! Our Website MP3WINGER.COM is the world first and best Website which provide you the Results in just matter of minute, all results are nearly matched with. Quintessence of Srimad Bhagavata Mahapuranam of Melpathur Narayana Bhattatiri English Version of Bhaktaranjini Malayalam Commentary Containing the original text in Devanagari, Transliteration, Anvaya, Word-by. Visit our wholesale storefront - Incense Plaza. Incense Plaza 9777 Harwin Drive Suite 411 Houston, Texas 77036 United States Phone: 832-723-4470, Fax: 832-204-8425 E-Mail: [email protected]. Further upstream is the Kedar Ghat, with the Kedareshwar temple, followed by the Kshameshwar Ghat and then the Narad Ghat. The Narad Ghat, incidentally, is the only Ghat on which people don’t bathe. In mythology, Narada is depicted as the naughty saint who always creates trouble (with the best motives of course!), and it is believed that a couple bathing on this Ghat will start fighting amongst themselves! The Raja Ghat is one belonging to the royal family of Varanasi, while the Shitala Ghat has a temple of Shitala Devi, who is prayed to, to avoid the pox. The Rana Mahal Ghat was built by Maharana Pratap, and is a fine example of Rajasthani architecture, as is the Maan Mandir Ghat further up, attributed to Man Singh, which also has an observatory on top. The Lalitha Ghat is the one nearest to the Vishwanath and Annapurna temples. Next is the famous Manikarnika Ghat, where Parvati is believed to have dropped her ear rings. This is also a burning Ghat, where funeral pyres burn day and night, every single day. It is believed that there is always a pyre burning on this Ghat, at any time of the day or night. Till about 1. 00 years back, the ashes of a pyre burning at midnight would be taken to the Vishwanath temple for the lingam for Abhishekam, but this practice has now been stopped. The fortune of being cremated at this Ghat is solely reserved for Hindus. Then we come to the Panchaganga Ghat, which is among the more important ones. Here, it is believed, 5 different rivers merge, and when the river is in full force during the monsoon, the currents of the 5 rivers can be seen. On this Ghat are the Bindu Madhava Temple, and the mosque built by Aurangzeb after he demolished the original temple. The last of all the Ghats is the Varuna Ghat where the river Varuna merges with the Ganga. It is sheer pleasure to go for a boat ride in the evening on the Ganges. Please take a simple row boat. There are motor boats too nowadays, but the pleasure the Ganga is waiting to give you can not be experienced in a fast boat. Sunset on the Ganga. We had a wonderful time on the river. Time stood still, and even my boisterous son seemed to realize that this was something special. We watched the colours of the water change as the sun set over the horizon, we saw birds returning back to their nests after a days work, we noticed how adept the seagulls and kingfishers were at catching fish, we even saw a couple of cormorants (snake darters) hover over the surface of the water and catch their prey. But what I shall remember is the sight of the bats as it grew dark. They swooped down, looking like oversized crows, and so perfectly caught fish in the dark. It was a sight we shall never forget. The beauty of nature is not as apparent in the landscape as it is in the life that makes up the landscape. The climax of this wonderful boat ride on the Ganges is the Ganga aarti. The aarti is performed every evening at 7 PM on the main Ghats of the river, the most prominent being on the Dashashwamedha Ghat. The chants and the singing of the aarti songs created a wonderful atmosphere and the river and Ghats are full of people taking in this wonderful sight. While the priests perform the traditional aarti to the river, laymen and women like us light up earthen lamps and gently let them down into the river, where they float down like glittering jewels. It is a sight that has to be seen to be believed, and it is certainly an uplifting experience. PRAMODHParmodh, the boataman is like Guha from Ramayana Epic. May be he was a Brahmin in Poorva Janmam. He knows many of the rituals. He is like a Man Friday to Swamimalai Sastrigals’ family. What’s Varanasi without the Ganga? The river is the lifeline of the city. The city revolves around the river with everyone coming there to have a dip. With its source in the Himalayas, the Ganges never dries up. Of course, with the kind of pollution that we are creating, and the kind of garbage that is put into the river, only the lord knows if this will last! There wasn’t too much water in the Ganges. We had to climb down 6. Hanuman Ghat to reach the water. Each step was so high, climbing back up was an exercise in itself. If we lived in Varanasi, we would never put on weight! The Ghats are scrupulously cleaned every day- the minor ones by people with brooms and buckets of water, the important and crowded ones by jets of water. It is a sight that brigs a cheer to one’s heart. Hal- burnt dead bodies are no longer thrown in the river. Authorities are posted on the burning Ghats to make sure that the bodies are burnt completely. In spite of this, the sight of the Ghats on the Ganges is not a pleasant one. I believe that this has nothing to do with the authorities, but with the people themselves. People worship the Ganges as their mother, but don’t think twice before defiling her by throwing plastic bags in her . Nothing will change until the mentality of people changes, and that is going to be a slow process. When we were performing all the rites and rituals, it struck me that in those ancient days, when people prayed to the Ganga and offered so many things to her, all those things were biodegradable. All the containers were made of leaves, and the offerings were easily soluble, or were eaten by the fishes. Today, everyone comes here to perform the same rituals, but everyone takes a shortcut by using plastic and non degradable substances. People are more environment friendly today than ever before, and this is what gives me hope. It is my sincere request to all of you who read this article and visit Kashi to keep these things in mind, and avoid polluting the river in any way that you can. Let’s do our bit for the environment and for this wonderful river. It might not be much, but it will be a beginning if each one of us does our bit. However, our ancient texts mention a few more temples which are important and must be visited to complete the circuit of temples. The Visalakshi Temple. Visalakshi is the second consort of Shiva in this holy city of Kashi. This temple is one among the 5. Shakti peethams, and is part of the famous triad of temples- Kanchi Kamakshi, Madurai Meenakshi and Kashi Visalakshi. This small temple is situated in one of the narrow lanes around the Vishwanath temple, and it is mainly south Indians who seek out this temple. Though the temple is quite small, the idol of the goddess is very beautiful. Behind the main stone idol of the goddess is another idol (some say it is a silver casting, others say it is an idol), believed to be the idol prayed to in ancient times. One of our guides told us that it was the swayambhu idol of the goddess, while another refuted this claim. Whatever it is, it is certainly worth a look, so remember to look behind the idol when you visit the temple. Adi Shankaracharya, when he visited the temple, performed prayers to renew the powers of the temple and the goddess which had borne the brunt of several invasions. He also installed a Sri Yantram there, and it is to this Yantram that puja is done. Kumkumarchana to this Sri Yantram is considered very special, and can be performed by asking the pujari there. On Diwali day, she was decorated in Silver Pavadai. NATTUKOTTAI CHETTIAR CHATHIRAMThe Thanga Visalakshi with Diamond studded Mangalyam and Velli Golusu was decorated and was kept in a podium in Chathiram for three days from Diwali Day. Karaikudi Chettiars had assembled in a large number there. We met Gomathy Achi w/o Mr. Kannappan a retire Railway employee who had been there on her 1. Diwali Visit to Kashi. The Kala Bhairav temple. Kala Bhairav is the guardian deity of Kashi. He occupies the position of a guard/ watchman with a dog as his vehicle, and is regarded as one of the forms of Shiva himself. In Kashi, there are 8 Bhairav temples, collectively called Ashta Bhairav. These are - Kala Bhairav, Dhandapani, Veera Bhairav, Batuk Bhairav, Aashu Bhairav, Aananda Bhairav, Rudra Bhairav and Ruru Bhairav. Among these, Kala Bhairav is the most important one, visited by all those who visit Kashi. Dhandapani, or the one who wields a stick, is the one who decides on the punishment, while Kala Bhairav is the one who enforces his decision. In the words of our guide, Dhandapani is the commissioner, while Kala Bhairav is the constable. As usual, it is the constable who is more feared, than the commissioner himself! The specialty of this temple is the sacred thread available there. These threads, known as Kashi threads, are supposed to ward off evil forces, and are in great demand. The Bindu Madhava Temple. Among the ancient temples in the must- visit list of Kashi temples is the Bindu Madhava Temple. This temple is also one of a trinity- Veni Madhava at Sangam in Allahabad, Bindu Madhava at Kashi and Sethu Madhava at Rameswaram. All these three temples are small, simple affairs, with similar idols which are rather small in size. The Bindu Madhava Temple is best approached from the Panchaganga Ghat. There is, of course a road, but one which is rarely used by the pilgrims. Qin Yan, Ph. D > Biological & Biomedical Sciences. Departments & Organizations. Pathology: Ex. Path . Joan and Ronald Conaway at the Oklahoma Medical Research Foundation and Stowers Institute for Medical Research, he completed his postdoctoral training on cancer biology with HHMI Investigator Dr. William Kaelin at the Dana- Farber Cancer Institute and Harvard Medical School. As an Associate Professor of Pathology at Yale Medical School and a member of Yale Comprehensive Cancer Center, he directs a research laboratory to elucidate the roles of epigenetic aberrations that drive tumor initiation and progression and to translate the findings to the clinic. Department Of Defense Breast Cancer Research Program 2012 RamBrenner, Dean of UCSD Health Sciences, sent the following email: I am especially proud to share that several of our outstanding faculty members were recognized by the San Diego Business Journal at this year's . In fact, six of the 2. UC San Diego School of Medicine. Sarah Blair, Sheila Gahagan, Bess Marcus, Sonia Ramamoorthy, Mia Savoia and Jo. Ann Trejo. The awards program, now in its 1. Please join me in congratulating all of the deserving nominees: Giovanna Casola, MD, is a professor in the Department of Radiology and a practicing clinician at UC San Diego Health System. She has 3. 0 years of experience as a diagnostic radiologist with expertise in body imaging. She is the radiology representative for our trauma service and is the leading clinical expert in GU radiology. DOD Announces Research. The Department of Defense Breast Cancer Research Program. Breast Cancer Research Program. 2012 (FY12) Defense Appropriations Act provides $120 million (M) to the Department of Defense Breast Cancer Research Program. Pentagon cancer research budget comes under scrutiny. Casola was the principal investigator for the ACRIN CT Colonography trial and has established the CT Colonography Clinical Program at UC San Diego Health System. Sarah Blair, MD, is an oncological surgeon and professor at Moores Cancer Center. Currently, she and her team are testing an innovative surgical method to remove breast cancer tumors utilizing biodegradable nanoparticles, with the goal of ensuring that all tumor cells are removed during surgery. Her work is supported with $2. Innovative Molecular Analysis Technologies (IMAT) program, which is designed to support novel and potentially transformative, next- generation technologies in cancer research. Department of Defense Breast Cancer Research. 2012 Breast Cancer Research Program; NEWS RELEASE Released: September 11, 2012 Defense Health Program Department of Defense Breast Cancer Research Program. The Fiscal Year 2012 Department of Defense Appropriations Act provides research funding for the. Research Program, Department of Defense. Pamela Deak, MD, is an obstetrician/gynecologist with the Department of Reproductive Medicine at UC San Diego Health System, where her role is to guide women through the stages of their reproductive lives, from adolescence through childbearing and menopause. She has been honored by multiple patients through our Clinical Advancement and Recognition of Excellence in Service (CARES) program, which offers our patients the opportunity to support excellence in quality and compassionate patient care by making a donation in honor of one of our health care providers who has made a difference in their lives. Sheila Gahagan, MD, MPH, Martin T. Stein Endowed Professor and chief of the Division of Academic General Pediatrics, Child Development and Community Health, was recognized for her work to create relationships between UC San Diego's Department of Pediatrics and community clinics, particularly Vista Community Clinic and San Ysidro Health Center. She heads several of the Division's important community outreach programs, including projects designed to prevent obesity and encourage a healthier lifestyle among pregnant women, young mothers and children. Beatrice Golomb, MD, Ph. D, associate professor of medicine, is one of UC San Diego Health Sciences' most prolific and visible researchers whose studies cover issues ranging from statin's adverse effects to Gulf War Syndrome to the benefits of eating chocolate. This year alone, she published several studies in major journals – resulting in stories that were picked up by hundreds of major media outlets – while continuing her clinical work at UC San Diego Health System and Veterans Affairs San Diego Healthcare System. Bess Marcus, Ph. D, is professor and chair of the Department of Family and Preventive Medicine. She has spent 2. 5 years conducting research on physical activity behavior, publishing three books and more than 1. Marcus is currently principal investigator on three National Institutes of Health grants, and has mentored more than 2. Sonia Ramamoorthy, MD, is an associate professor of surgery who specializes in surgery of the colon and rectum. She is also dedicated to elevating and promoting the role of women in health care, and is the founder of the Women in Surgery Lectureship Series at UC San Diego Health System, a public platform to highlight the achievements and struggles of women in health care. Now in its fourth year, the program attracts prominent female surgeons and doctors from across the U. S. A physician- scientist whose primary passion is the understanding and treatment of parasitic disease, her research emphasizes finding new drug targets for neglected tropical diseases. For more than a decade, she has worked to upgrade hospital laboratories in Ethiopia with modern equipment, and develop new and effective tests for blood, viruses and tuberculosis. Mia Savoia, MD, is dean of Medical Education for our School of Medicine, and also serves as the outpatient infectious diseases physician at UC San Diego Health System. She has been active nationally in all of the important organizations and groups that deal with medical education – as national chair of the Group on Student Affairs of the American Association of Medical Colleges (AAMC), on the Governing Council of the Women in Medicine group of the AAMC, and on numerous task forces and boards. Her strong leadership style and perseverance has made her a role model for generations of women in academic medicine. Jo. Ann Trejo, Ph. D, is a professor of pharmacology who studies the function of receptors on cells sometimes involved in spurring breast cancer growth, invasion and metastasis. These receptors also play a role in inflammation related to cardiovascular disease. 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Как выйти из треугольника Карпмана? Треугольник Карпмана это широко распространенная, но нездоровая модель взаимоотношений. Дайджест книги Рэнди Пауш «Последняя лекция». Треугольник Карпмана (англ. Karpman drama triangle; другое название — «треугольник судьбы») — это психологическая и социальная модель взаимодействия между людьми в трансакционном анализе, впервые описанная Стивеном Карпманом (Stephen Karpman). Этот треугольник ещё называют магическим, так как стоит в него попасть, так его роли начинают диктовать участникам выборы, реакции, чувства, . Треугольник Карпмана (защита от манипуляций в общении). Рекомендуем также посмотреть видео: . Тем, кто в него попал, не позавидуешь, потому что выруливать из него очень и очень непросто. Попадают в этот треугольник время от времени практически все. А вот знают про него немногие. Если «Жертве» это удается, то ловушка захлопнулась – треугольник образовался. Акт 2: «Жертва», проблемы которой не решаются, превращается в «Преследователя», и начинает искать виновных в том, что жизнь не удалась. Виновным, конечно же, оказывается бывший «Спаситель», на которого и обрушивается гнев и нападки бывшей «Жертвы». Акт 3: Бывший «Спаситель», ставший «Жертвой», недоумевает, как же так он оказался козлом отпущения в этой ситуации. Мораль: Если вам предлагают стать спасителем, то, скорее всего для того, чтобы было кого потом обвинить в случае неудачи. Поэтому трижды подумайте, прежде чем брать на себя ответственность за чужие проблемы. Ребенок перестал слушаться родителей. Может, вы подскажете, как его приструнить?», - с надеждой обращается семья Петровых к семье Сидоровых. Две роли уже определились: ребенок – «Преследователь», родители – «Жертва». И нечего с ним цацкаться, мы вам гарантируем, пару раз отлупите, и будет как шелковый!». После порки Петров- младший убегает из дому. Петровы ищут, кого бы обвинить в происшедшем. Само собой, виновными в их глазах оказываются Сидоровы. В праведном гневе они начинают ходить по всем знакомым и жаловаться: «А представляете, что нам Сидоровы посоветовали?». Разбитая любовь. «Я видела, как он ее целовал. Сквозь слезы также начинает проступать ее требовательное: «Скажи, что мне теперь делать?». В порыве праведного гнева вы уговариваете ее послать парня ко всем чертям. Парень само собой уходит, правда не к чертям, а к той самой девице, из- за которой и разгорелся весь сыр- бор. По крайней мере, в этом убеждена она и большинство ваших общих знакомых, которым она уже успела выплакать свою версию происшедшего. Менеджеру при этих словах становится как- то неловко объяснять, что ответственность за результат лежит также и на компании заказчика. Эта «стеснительность», разумеется, через некоторое время выходит боком. Заказчик, не ожидавший, что ему самому необходимо изрядно попотеть для достижения результата, в возмущении: «Наобещали с три короба, а теперь всю работу перекладывают на нас, результата нет и не видно». Оказавшись в магазине, вы, ориентируясь на свой вкус, уговариваете ее купить ярко- красное кашемировое пальто: «Точно тебе говорю, не сомневайся, в нем ты выглядишь великолепно! Деньги выброшены на ветер. Ну, конечно же, не себя! А сочувствия скорее заслуживает «Спаситель», которому в большинстве случаев уготовлена участь козла отпущения, если вдруг что- то в жизни так называемой «Жертвы» пойдет не так. Один американский менеджер ответил на этот вопрос следующей метафорой: Остерегайтесь «обезьян»! Каждый сотрудник, входящий в Ваш кабинет, приводит с собой толпу «обезьян» – больших и маленьких проблем, которые он хочет с вами обсудить. В действительности же он хочет только одного: пересадить «обезьян» со своих плеч на ваши, чтобы вместо него с ними мучались вы. Следите за тем, чтобы каждый входящий получил всех своих «обезьян» назад. Как бы ни хотела «Жертва» спихнуть ответственность за решение своих проблем на вас, ваша задача – вернуть эту ответственность обратно. Что часто бывает очень непросто, так как хватка опытной жертвы во многом подобна хватке бульдога – вцепившись в кого- либо, она не мытьем так катаньем, но добивается своего. И я считаю себя не вправе в нее вмешиваться. Поэтому решай сама, как ты выбираешь жить дальше. Такой вариант хорошо подходит для деловых и не очень близких отношений. Воспитание ребенка дело сугубо индивидуальное, и мы не хотим вмешиваться в ваши семейные неурядицы. Решать эту проблему должны именно вы». Помоги не советом, а энергетикой. Очень часто человек становится на позицию жертвы только потому, что он упал духом, у него не хватает собственных сил и энергии на то, чтобы самостоятельно принять решение. Взбодрите человека, разбудите в нем желание действовать, что- то менять! Сама что ли не можешь решить, как в такой ситуации поступать?!!! Уже давно не в первый класс ходишь! Уверена, у тебя получится! Вперед!». На эмоциональном подъеме после таких слов ваша подруга сама сможет решить, как ей быть со своим бой- френдом. И соответственно перестанет вешать эту проблему на вас. Он лучше, чем мы подскажет, что делать с трудным подростком», – после такого предложения Сидоровых, Петровым уже трудно настаивать на том, чтобы именно Сидоровы решали их проблему. А завтра заедешь с мужем, и пусть еще он выскажется, нравится ему этот фасон или нет. В конце концов, ведь именно он дает деньги на эту покупку», - разумный совет, который убережет и вас, и подругу от возможных проблем в ситуации с «кашемировым пальто». Другой человек вряд ли скажет вам спасибо за свалившиеся на него проблемы жертвы, если решение их не в его компетенции. Косвенный совет – это просто дополнительная информация, оформленная в виде истории из жизни других людей, на основе которой жертве самой необходимо принять решение. Через неделю уже вел себя как шелковый. Не уверены, что это самое лучшее решение, но если вам кажется, что оно сработает, то попробуйте», - дав совет в такой форме, Сидоровы защищают себя от возможных обвинений со стороны Петровых в будущем. Чуть стекла не повылетали! И знаешь, он к ней проникся таким уважением и любовью, что теперь они живут не разлей вода. Если ты думаешь, что с твоим бой- френдом такое прокатит – то можешь попробовать. Но будь осторожна, у другой моей знакомой после такого парень вообще ушел», - еще один пример косвенного совета в случае с «разбитой любовью». После этого, какие либо взаимные претензии возможны только в случае, если они были заранее оговорены. Если бы менеджер по внедрению бухгалтерской системы сразу же в контракте указал ту часть работ, которая ляжет на плечи заказчика, то потом у директора компании не было бы повода для недовольства. В случае неудачи, именно его обвинят в плохой работе. Поэтому ему важно заранее оговорить ответственность родителей: следить, чтобы их чадо выполняло домашние задания, чтобы у ребенка были все необходимые учебники и т. Оставшуюся работу для достижения результата, вы возвращаете на плечи «Жертвы», заставляя ее саму, активно участвовать в решении проблемы. И как всякая модель, она описывает реальность только приблизительно. Иногда люди просят вашего совета не потому, что хотят повесить на вас ответственность за результат, а потому что им нужна дополнительная информация. Если человеку нужно просто ваше мнение – то дайте ему ваш совет. Но если вы видите, что человек на самом деле хочет «пересадить на ваши плечи своих «обезьян»» - то не попадайтесь в эту ловушку. Поверьте – вам там не место. |
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